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When the car came back, I was mad. I complained about how frustrating it was to spend my time doing things I didn’t want to. Like getting it re-keyed and calling the police to take fingerprints. Even going to pick it up was an inconvenience. I felt betrayed. Again. If the car had stayed away, they’d cut me a check and I could feel okay about taking the 10 grand and spending it my way.

The thieves came in the night. But my lights were still on and I was still awake. Not even in my pjs. I live on the second floor so I thought I was safe. The night was nice. I opened the patio door for the breeze. Apparently, I invited them inside.

I came out of my room looking for a cigarette. My purse wasn’t on the kitchen table where I left it. Earlier, the neighbor said there’d been break-ins. Be careful. Pay attention. My wallet, keys and car were gone too.

After the shock wore off, I thought it must be a blessing. My intention for this moon cycle was to feel safe in my finances. I did my best to grow accustomed to the stick-shift. Nevermind the luck of having an extra car at my fingertips. It didn’t have power locks or windows. I had to actually turn the headlights on and off with my hands. The radio was busted and when I drove all I could hear were my thoughts. You’re an idiot.  

Playing the victim doesn’t get you anywhere. It causes you to spin and spin, stuck like gum under an old chair.

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