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I wanna know which way to go when my feet hit the street of the morning. I wanna know which way is right when I feel myself breathing. I wanna know this and that. Not either or, like twilight.

I wanna know.

I wanna know how to help myself up from the floor. All broken and begging for more. I wanna know the light. I wanna know my own sight. My own ins and outs. My own spite. I wanna know if the breath you take matches mine. I wanna know if your heart aches when I do this all the time. I wanna know if you know me in the darkness of the night.

Do you recognize the sighs?

I wanna know if you like me when you’re between my thighs. I wanna know if you’ll be home when I need you in the night. I wanna know the pace of your steps and the pace of your breath. I wanna know if you’ll sing to me in the voice that helps me rest.

I wanna know your sorrow.

I wanna know what that smell means and if it means to follow. I wanna know the hollow of your collar bone. I wanna know the own calling of my home. I wanna know if you see me standing here all hands and feet and teeth. I wanna know if I can come too into tomorrow. I wanna know that soft wing beat that wakes me for the day.

I wanna know Certainty in every way.

And it’s certain I won’t know any of these things. It’s certain I won’t know my way in between. I won’t know which way to go until I get there. I won’t know which way the wind blows til I feel it in my hair. I won’t know if it’s wrong or right the way we walk into tomorrow. I won’t know if it’s you or me or us or both or them or when.

I wanna know.

I wanna know if you’ll hold my hand when I am just too much. I wanna know if you’ll be there when the ceiling starts to crutch. I wanna know the simple wildflower. I wanna know I love myself in every hour. I wanna know I can stop, just stop, the mindless chatter. I wanna know I can be there in the after. I wanna know how to sing this song that rests in my chest like birds.

Like a gong.

March 22, 2017

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