The chatter of internal dialogue is incessant. Other people’s opinions and the multiple voices of yourself. The part that believes in you and the part that doesn’t. So how do you know what’s real? How do you know what’s legit? It starts with knowing what Fear sounds like in your head.
So many times when you’re caught in Fear, you can’t tell that you’re in it and you’re asking yourself: can I trust this decision? Below are specific ways you can tell if the voice you’re hearing is on your side or not. If it sounds like this…Don’t Listen.
Either – Or
The Fear voice believes there isn’t enough for everyone. That if you don’t or can’t get yours now, you’re never gonna get it. It says EITHER you can have this OR you can have that. It separates, divides and diminishes. This can also sound like competition or jealousy – she has “it” but I don’t so the world is unfair and I’ll never be anything.
It Blames, Shames and Chips Away
You’ll know this as Fear because you’ll be the object of the blaming, shaming and chipping. This is when you tear yourself down, beat yourself up and tell yourself all the many ways you could’ve done it different or (my favorite) should’ve known better.
Paralysis Through Analysis
Here, Fear gets choppy and fast. It’s in a hurry and has to get somewhere right this red hot minute and nothing else will do and the sky is absolutely gonna come falling down if there isn’t a solution right this second but what if that’s the wrong solution and what about this solution over here, could that be the right one? And on and on to nowhere is where that goes.
Not skinny enough, not rich enough, not good enough. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not educated enough. Not strong enough, not bright enough, not here enough. Not enough time. Not enough likes. Not enough followers. Not enough. This is the ultimate lack scenario. When you hear it talking to you through your phone, bank account, or reflection in the mirror – flip that ish quick, cuz it’ll getcha.
Always In A Hurry
Now. Nownownow. I want it now. I have to have it now. That dress, that book, that class. It’s tricky cuz it’ll try to convince you that it’s for the bettering of yourself that you have to have it right this second. And if you don’t have it right this second you’re failing as a human and you’ll never, never, never have it. This voice sounds like the 3 year old, who, when told it’s time to nap, says he’s not gonna sleep forever.
Whether it’s completely paralyzing anxiety or just a little whisper, Fear is often intelligent and can rationalize you into anything. Here, I share tips on how to stop going down any of the thought trains above.
Now that you know what you don’t want, checkout this post on the voice you do wanna listen to.
And, I wanna know…what does Fear sound like to you??